The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Couch. On fire.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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