he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize