it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
