hotel room ftw
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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