Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
