That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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