Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize