Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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