i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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