let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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