let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
