Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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