Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
