Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's never too late to be topless.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
