a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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