All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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