I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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