that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
