Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
barbara walters just said penis...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
