Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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