so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
