If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
