Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize