so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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