So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
