Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
