As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
