Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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