You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
