So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
