I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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