saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
