i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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