I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now