idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
well, you know. whores of a feather.