I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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