If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
