Me too!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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