It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
