i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
