I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
