Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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