New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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