That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
