sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
