How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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