somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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