I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
