She said her name was "party"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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