Pappa wants mamma naked
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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