Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
