Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
