i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
As shirtless as possible
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
