I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
