The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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