are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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