I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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