yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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