Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
