Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
