Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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